I used to have another blog, I'm sure you remember it. It was called Mixed Episodes. I started it not long after I was dx'd with Bipolar disorder. When I began it I planned to write about my feelings, experiences and thoughts about the disease but then found that once people started reading my blog these things became hard for me to write abou
Eventually some things happened to me that were really bad, they were very hard on me and I found that the Bipolar disorder and the havoc created by it occupied my mind to such an extent that I couldn't really think about anything else but at the same time, couldn't overcome my reticence about talking about it. Some of the feelings I had were very negative and angry and I didn't feel like exposing my less attractive side....my shadow if you will..
Add that to the fact that someone was coming on my blog who was very passive-aggressive. I could have confronted him but frankly, I wasn't up for a confrontation. I'd seen how he behaved to other people who had the nerve to finally call him out and I just didn't feel like dealing with it. Did I lack courage? No, I don't think so, I just didn't want the hassle, I was already in a bad space and didn't need to give myself another thing to be upset about.
So for awhile, I spent my time on a forum for people with bipolar disorder so I wouldn't jones because I wasn't writing. It was an amazing experience. They were just like me in ways large and small. It was a healing experience to finally find people like myself and just let it all hang out.
But I miss blogging. I've missed it for a long time. My kids are in school now and I think I want to start again. I have had a few false starts but this time I want to keep going. I don't know if I will write a lot, I guess it depends....but I will write.
It's nice to see so many people still around. I haven't forgotten you!
Eventually some things happened to me that were really bad, they were very hard on me and I found that the Bipolar disorder and the havoc created by it occupied my mind to such an extent that I couldn't really think about anything else but at the same time, couldn't overcome my reticence about talking about it. Some of the feelings I had were very negative and angry and I didn't feel like exposing my less attractive side....my shadow if you will..
Add that to the fact that someone was coming on my blog who was very passive-aggressive. I could have confronted him but frankly, I wasn't up for a confrontation. I'd seen how he behaved to other people who had the nerve to finally call him out and I just didn't feel like dealing with it. Did I lack courage? No, I don't think so, I just didn't want the hassle, I was already in a bad space and didn't need to give myself another thing to be upset about.
So for awhile, I spent my time on a forum for people with bipolar disorder so I wouldn't jones because I wasn't writing. It was an amazing experience. They were just like me in ways large and small. It was a healing experience to finally find people like myself and just let it all hang out.
But I miss blogging. I've missed it for a long time. My kids are in school now and I think I want to start again. I have had a few false starts but this time I want to keep going. I don't know if I will write a lot, I guess it depends....but I will write.
It's nice to see so many people still around. I haven't forgotten you!
I remember the poster, and he was not only aggressive (personally, I'd take the "passive" out of it), but rather narrow-minded.
ReplyDeleteStill, it's good to see you, old friend. Welcome back to cyberspace.
I'm thinking maybe you could have an alternate ID to post comments with, so that unwanted people won't come over here uninvited.
Oh, and do we get to hear more stories about Trinity and Joia? Or are you starting a new project?
Glad that you are back. As for me, I'm not the blogger raconteur that i used to be, so i have trouble getting around the web. Life happens in the midst of our plans, you know how that is.
ReplyDeleteYes, I noticed a few of the less desirable folks are not around here any more. That's good for all of us, I think. If I know who you are talking about (and I believe I certainly do know who the crotchety old fart was), it seems that he's gone. Crosses fingers.
Hope to see you around more!
Take care.